I could tell something was up the moment I walked in the door, just home from work. Voices buzzed at the top of the stairs. I headed to the kitchen to put away my things.

“Ingrid! Can you come up here?” a voice called in dire tones. I set everything down at the foot of the stairs and ran up to find Heather and Mary Beth sitting on the floor.

“Are you hurt?” I asked, expecting a twisted ankle or broken toe. “No,” Heather wailed, shaking in a spasm of laughter. “I don’t think we’ll ever use that bathroom again,” Mary Beth said grimly.

“Cockroaches?” I asked. “No, bigger,” they answered. “A mouse?” “Bigger.” “A rat??” “Yes … in the toilet!”

The story goes … after using the toilet, Heather was standing at the sink washing her hands, when she looked down to see something big and black in the toilet bowl. “That thing did not come out of me,” she thought. Then it started moving. It had a long tail and it was swimming. That’s when Mary Beth heard the ear-splitting scream.

We discussed what could be done. “Alright,” I volunteered, “we have to be level-headed.” Mary Beth threw up her hands: “Ingrid, she just pooped on a rodent! It’s no time to be calm!”